Is it possible to pray a child into reality?

Here SHE is!!! Did you catch that?? I said she!! We are currently 13 weeks 3 days pregnant and we went yesterday for the Down's Syndrom ultrasound. (Everything looked great!) The bonus... They were pretty certain, even at this point, that we are having a baby girl!! They will double check at our next ultrasound just to be sure, but were confident that they saw no boy parts. Hello Cloud 9!! Will update more after our check up with Dr. G Thursday! Love you all!!!

Floating,
A

Life is Good

Things are going really well and lots of fun exciting things are happening. The most exciting of which was our last ultrasound. Jason was able to go with me this time and I am so glad he did because we got to see the baby move. I know that doesnt sound like much but honestly it was such a magical moment for us. To see that what had once been our little blob on the screen, was now a moving baby was truly amazing. We saw it stretching its little arms and legs and it made it seem a little more real in a way.

As for me, being pregnant so far hasnt been bad. I have the occasional days of nausea but for the most part I feel great. My only cravings so far have been for Snow Biz and jalapenos (not at the same time though). And the only thing I am really having an aversion to is meat. However, I did surprisingly eat some fish last week and it went down super easy! Guess the baby just wanted some fish :) Anyway, all is going well and I only hope things will continue like this through out!

Our next appointment is April 27th and it is for a special ultrasound test where they will check for Down's Syndrom. They said it is posible that we could find out the sex at that point but it really depends on the babies cooperation as "Shim" will still be very small and curled up. If they are not able to see the sex then it will have to wait until the beginning of June. I will see Dr. G a couple days later for results and a checkup. Hope all is well with everyone!! Will update again soon :)

Loving Life,
A

Isnt Life Ironic...

First, let me please apologize for the lapse in time from my last posting. As I'm sure everyone knows, our IVF cycle didn't work out as planned and I just couldn't bring myself to type the words. When IVF failed it was hard... No, it was unimaginably indescribably terribly hard. But as the saying goes, "Life goes on." And it did... Time helped heal our pain and eventually God gave us the ability to feel content again. We used that time of healing as a chance to grow closer to each other and in the process found a sense of peace in what had been our struggle for parenthood.

Now that the past is out of the way... Let me make you smile with the news of the year. WE ARE PREGNANT!!! No, I'm not joking. We are really truly pregnant. Isn't it crazy how things turn out? Science said it wasn't possible but God had other plans. Jason and I are elated and overjoyed and just so grateful that God picked us to be the parents of his miracle.

Details you ask... We are ten weeks along and due on Halloween! We found out four weeks ago while we were on vacation in Shreveport visiting our friends Stephanie and Wayne. I was feeling guilty about drinking a beer because before we left town I spoke with my nurse about getting back on BCP's and she fed me a nonsense line about how "miracles happen". So that I could drink my beer guilt free, the next morning I asked Jason if we could go get a pregnancy test so that I could clear my conscience of this ridiculous talk of miracles. My nurse the fortune teller... I wish you could have seen Jason's face when I walked out of the bathroom. Priceless! All he said was, "I'll be back. I'm going to get more tests". He came back with two more and both where positive before I could get my pants back up. Talk about shocked... Shocked doesn't come close. We were tickled numb. We came home Sunday and I went for blood work Monday to confirm the results and sure enough my Beta was really high. So we went Tuesday for an ultrasound to again confirm, and heard the most magical sound my ears have ever heard. Our baby already had a heartbeat! Best day of my life. Posting a picture of the latest ultrasound above. "Shim" was 9weeks 3days when this was done. Love to all!!

Grateful for our miracle,
A

There ya have'm folks! Our three little embryos!

The thing below them is their petrie dish. (Doc called it their first nursery. Isnt that cute!)

More pictures from transfer day!

That's Jason holding a picture of our three superstars! Doesn't he look like a proud Dad already.

Welcome to "Cloud Nine"...

Yes, this picture is ridiculous but I don't think we would have cared if they had dressed us in toilet paper... At this point nothing could wipe the grins off our faces! So yesterday I must say was the most amazing day of my life so far. That sounds all mushy and crap but seriously I think I may have had an outerbody experience. Let me paint the picture for you...

So we arrive at the hospital at 7:45 am and the Doc greets us and sees us back to the surgery suite where the transfer will take place. He shows us into a small hospital room where he asks us to change into our gown and scrubs and says he'll be back after he's checked out our embryos. A short tear and giggle filled 20 minutes later Doc has returned with word that we have three remaining embryos that look outstanding and we are all set to go. My heart felt like it was doing summersalts in my chest with the excitment as Jason and Doc pushed my gurney down the hall towards the OR. Doc asked Jason to wait in the hall for a few minutes while they got me set up. A few minutes later Jason came through the door, but this man was a totally different part of my Jason that I think only this moment could bring out. As he walked towards me I could see the tears welling up in his eyes and looking at each other we both knew how badly we want this to work. The procedure began and as we watched Doc place our embryos in me through the monitor we smiled and cried knowing that we've come as far as we can and everything else is left up to God. Words just somehow do not do this story justice... All I can tell you is that, even if things don't work out how we hope, this day alone was proof enough that Jason and Aaron were written in the stars.

Overwhelmed with emotion,
Aaron

(Will post more pics soon!)

Dear Embryo,

Right now I am sitting on my couch thinking about you and wondering if you've spent your fourth day on earth growing and dividing as planned. The plan is that tomorrow you will get to leave your little petrie dish and take a ride down the fun slide that is the catheter and you will land softly in the warm cozy den that is my uterus. I hope you like it in there... I've been cleaning house for weeks in preparation for your arrival. So, as your potential mother I feel it necessary to lay out some ground rules. First, no procrastinating! I know you've just gotten in to this great new place but if you'll just go ahead and stick to me already I promise you'll have nine months more to see the facilities. So, no tours of the place, just find your room and stay put. And Lastly, stay away from the door!!! That door leads to bad things... Things I do not wish to think about... Other than that, enjoy your stay! I look forward to our next several months together. We will have lots of talks and time to get to know each other... And before you know it you'll have a heart and hands and toes and.... and one day you may even read this letter... well... lets not get too far ahead... For now you just focus on finding your room and staying away from the door. You have no idea how many people love you already and wish so badly to one day meet you. So sweet little embryo of mine, rest well tonight because tomorrow is your big day. And one last time PLEASE stay away from the door!

So badly wanting to be your mommy,
Aaron

Is the world spinning a lttle slower than usual??

So YEAH surgery went well. The doc retrieved healthy eggs and altogether recovery was easy. I went in at 8:00 am and was back home before noon! We got word from the doc Wednesday that fertilization was not quite what we'd hoped for so to keep morale at a high I'm not going to go into that. What is important, is that currently we are the proud parents of six sweet little embryos! For now our transfer has been pushed back to Saturday so that they have a little more time to grow. Jason and I are excited beyond words and just cant wait for Saturday to get here! So everyone please continue to pray that our embryos grow and stay strong!

Here we go!!!

So we went Saturday for another ultrasound and lab work... Looks like I will be having the egg retrieval surgery Tuesday bright and early!! We are sooooo excitied!! For now I am feeling bloated and yucky and have butterflies like crazy, but I am too excited to complain. AHHH!!! If dancing didnt hurt I would so dance right now!

Ok, so everyone please pray that the Doc find lots of healthy eggs and that our little embryos grow like crazy!

LOVE LOVE LOVE!!!!
Aaron

For those not savy with IVF...

I was sitting here eating my oatmeal this morning and thinking about my post from last night. It occurred to me that I'm saying all this but most of you probably do not even know how all of this is supposed to work. So I thought I'd lay it out in understandable terms :)

First step is growing the eggs so to speak. The doctor prescribes a cocktail of medication to make my body mass produce these eggs in order to fertilize as many possible so that we have several healthy embryos to choose from. (The average woman produces about one egg per cycle; the last time I took a similar dose of meds I had 17.) This part of the process is not extremely painful, but it is a little uncomfortable towards the end because your ovaries get so big with these egg follicles that it honestly just feels like there is no room left in your abdomen. I think its almost a cruel look at how it may feel to be pregnant... I mean you have to pee all the time, you want to undo your pants when you sit, you can forget walking anywhere in a hurry, and there is definitely no overeating or you'll be sorry! Anyway, this is where we are now and if the meds do their job I will be feeling like this by Friday... (I'm not complaining though!! Too excited to complain!!)

The second step is the "extraction" (as I told you Jason is calling it...) The proper term is "egg retrieval" or TVCP (Trans vaginal cyst puncture). This is a surgical procedure in which the doctor removes the eggs from my ovaries using an ultrasound guided needle. Sounds painful, but I will be under anesthesia for this so I wont feel a thing! Thank God!! Right now this part is scheduled for the 9th but this can change by a couple days sooner or later depending on how my body responds to the medication. This will also be the day of conception... (this is still weird to me too) While I am in surgery they will ask Jason for his contribution. Then when they combine them in a petrie dish and we will have sweet little embryo Lynch babies! They will then let the embryos grow for 3 to 5 days.

Which brings me to the last part!!! Transfer Day!!! This is the day that we will go to have our sweet little embryos transferred in to me. Right now this is scheduled for the 11th but like I said before, this could change by a couple days...

And yes, I promise we will share the news as soon as everything is confirmed, which should be around the first couple weeks of December. Ok, I hope that helps everyone understand a little better... XOXO

A

We are getting so close...

Well I think the past week went ok! I would say for the most part I was on my best behavior... I have been a little on the sensitive side and would say I definitely have a super short fuse, but I'm really trying hard to keep my emotions in check.

So today I gave myself three injections! I think I'm getting quite good at it... I guess maybe I'm getting used to it! Good thing because the next week or so is going to be full of needles. If all goes as planned I will be having the "extraction" (as Jason likes to call it) on the ninth, but that could move a few days sooner or later just depending on how my body responds to the medicine. We are getting so excited! It is just crazy to think that in less than two weeks we are going to walk in that clinic and a few hours later walk out pregnant. I think about that all the time... I'm trying not to get my hopes up because I realize there are a lot of obstacles to overcome throughout the next week or two but I just get butterflies when I think about it. Ok, guess thats all for now. I will update again this week with more info! Going Wednesday for another ultrasound so we will know more then!! Love to all :)

Apology to Mr. Road Work Sign Holder Guy...

Dear Mr. Road Work Sign Holder Guy,

I am so sorry that you fell victim to my demon arm... (literally this time) You see, its your job to stop traffic on one side of the road so that your buddies can stand around and watch the grass grow on the other side. This job of yours just really ticked me off... I am normally a very sweet girl, however when you let all the cars in my lane go and decided to stop me I just had to express my dislike for the situation and my hand just did the talking better than my mouth. I hope you are there again tomorrow morning so I can try to redeem myself with a friendly smile and wave...

Sincerely,
That crazy girl that flipped you a bird this morning

What a weekend...

Our friends Stephanie and Wayne, and their children Charlotte and Will, came to visit us this weekend! We always have such a wonderful time with them and this visit was no exception. You see, Jason and I love those kiddies like we would our own so when they come to visit we get to try out our parenting skills and get a glimpse of what life might be with children of our own. I miss them so much already and I am counting down the days until our next visit.

Well, we started the injections Sunday! The needles were a little more dull than the last ones I used so I asked Jason to give it to me because I just couldnt make myself do the "quick jab" method... Well... He must have been reverting back to his veterinary experience because I swear he jabbed that thing in so quick it was like he was vaccinating some bad ass cat. I think I may bight him if he does it like that again. :) (second time he did better)

Ever wonder what it takes to make a baby...?? Not what you think...

There ya have it... Five different kinds of injections, five oral medications, and a few scientists to concoct our baby in a petrie dish. That's what it takes to make a baby in our world. It was surreal when I got my bag of medicine. Seriously they did not all fit into a gallon size ziploc bag! Crazy... and yes, its probably crazy of me to take a picture of this but words just could not express what this ungodly amount of medicine looks like! It looked like a freakin pharmacy in my kitchen when I spread it all out!



So the fun looks like it will begin this Sunday. I am meeting to go over the schedule with the nurse Thursday and will have every thing in writing on a calendar then! The girls I work with have joked that when I start all this medicine I need to have some sort of warning stickers that I can wear when "its ok to talk to me" and when "you need to leave me alone"... I hope these wont make me too terribly moody but if they are anything like the Clomid I took way back when we started all this, the "demon arm" could make a reappearance. I am truly going to work hard to not snap at Jason though... I mean this is tough for him too and I dont want him to look back on this and remember me as some crazed psycho. Ok, guess that's all for now! More updates later!! Hugs to all :)

Marked one off the list.

Well, we have marked the first of many IVF appointments off the list! We went yesterday to get our initial testing done. The FDA mandates that couples going into IVF have a certain laundry list of blood work done to make sure certain diseases are not passed on, as well as checking for immunity in the mothers to avoid obstacles during preganacy. In addition to the blood work I had a saline infused ultrasound and they did a "trial transfer" to practice the actual embryo transfer (they do this in an effort to avoid problems on transfer day). Then we spent what seemed like forever signing paperwork that resembled signing the papers when you buy a house. So not such a fun visit but it is behind us now and we are getting really excited about the next few weeks. The next step is starting the meds. Looks like I will start out with a couple oral medications and two injections for the first week, then dropping the oral meds and adding in another injection... Not sure if I have that exactly right but I will know more when the nurse send my medication calendar this week. Guess thats its for now... Will let you know more soon!

Thought for today...

Jeremiah 1:5

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you..."

A different way of seeing it...

I thought this was a great way to look at our situation. Being the eternal optimist that I am, one day recently while talking on the phone with my friend Stephanie I had become a little impatient over all this and had a bit of a melt down. Stephanie said something that really changed my way of looking at all this. She said, "Ya know, perfection takes time and I think maybe God is just taking his time to make the right soul to send you"... And so... I am no longer impatient. Thanks Steph!

Catching you up to speed...

Ya know, when all this started I was so good about keeping my journal. That was so important to me because I just knew one day I would look back on those memories... Um... please, why would I want to go back there?? Thats when the journal became the devil. It was depressing to write about how nothing was working... We had tried for months and everyday I was writing about lab work, new tests, conversations with the nurse, and complaining to my notebook that we were not getting anywhere. So... I quit. And I'm kind of glad I did. So here's the "nut shell" version of the past year to get you to where we are now.

I was diagnosed with a condition called PCOS (aka: Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) in 2007 so we were informed at that point by the doctor that we could potentially have some issues conceiving but... "not to worry, lots of girls with PCOS get pregnant without an issue". Sometimes I wish I could go back to that moment and kick him in the knee for jinxing me. So fast forward to October 2008 and we have officially started infertility treatments. We started with a few rounds of oral medication, which lead to several months of some crazed lunatic taking over my ability rationalize like a normal human being. I like to describe the "Clomid Girl" (as I became known) as normal Aaron, except when I didnt hear what I wanted to hear, my mouth would open really really wide and this crazy demon arm would grow out of my mouth and reach across rooms to grab these people saying bad things and shake them until they were limp noodles. I swear I had no control... The arm did what it wanted... Jason will attest.

So, after the doctor decided that oral meds were not gonna cut it, we moved on to injectables. But... not before putting Jason through the ultimate test (you get what I mean right?) They just had to rule him out as a source of our problem. Gladly, we later found out that Jason is great and I am the only source of our conception issues so on we went to the injections! A few cycles on these injections, a uterine dye test, and a surgery later we found out that PCOS was not our only hurdle. After no luck on the injections the doctor recommended this dye test which revealed a blockage in my fallopian tube and then suggested surgery. The surgery ultimately showed that I have deformed fallopian tubes as well as stage 2 endometriosis.

We were heartbroken when the doctor explained that this combination of problems made our chances of conceiving "the old fashioned way" about none. (I guess I couldn't help hanging on to the thought of the "miracle baby"...) So, he went on to say that by trying an IUI (intrauterine insemination) we would have about a 15% chance of conceiving and that IVF (InVitro Fertilization) could give us as much as a 40% chance. Feeling optimistic we opted to try the IUI first. Well, the IUI didnt work... And here we are... Feeling optimistic again and quickly headed towards IVF. Right now we are taking it day by day. In about two weeks we will be going through the initial testing and will sign the papers to make our decision to do this official! After that there will be several weeks of multiple doctors appointments, lab work, and lots and lots of injections. Some where around November 9th we will be having our egg retrieval surgery and embryo transfer!! So thats our year in a nut shell... I will keep you posted as we know more!